Families and place: a changing support system

The family into which they are born and raised has a major role in shaping young people’s life experience, preparing them for adulthood and building resilience and capability. The role of extended families of grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles, as well as friends, neighbours and the wider community, can be just as important as their immediate family. The site visits illuminated a range of different circumstances, patterns of family life and varying strengths of social fabric around families.

While the methodology used in the site visits meant that the final presentations focused on the role local leaders could play, many young people in the workshops emphasised their families as sources of emotional, financial and practical support, as well as sources of personal connections. They reflected on a range of family relationships: often it was about the reliance on family as a core source of emotional support, but some also wanted to protect their already hard-pressed parents from their own challenges. Others who had fractured relationships with immediate families members found their extended families, and adults working in youth services, to be critical sources of support.

Several young people had family responsibilities, mainly as parents themselves but some with caring responsibilities for siblings or their parents.

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Local perspectives

The role of family and wider society

The importance of the role of family in supporting young people to prepare themselves for adult life, such as in developing the skills to live independently, was widely felt. However, there was concern from young people and particularly from local organisations, that not all could rely on their families and social networks to deliver this.

‘Like cooking, I learnt cooking from my mum, but not everyone’s mum is gonna teach them how to cook’ workshop participant, Bristol

‘My parents encourage me to save money every week to my bank account, and use my Saturday job to save up. Once you’ve seen people struggle you don’t want the same [for your children]’ workshop participant, North Ayrshire

Young people’s aspirations also emerged largely from their family environments. We heard uplifting stories of young people inspired to take different routes because of encouragement from their family members. Conversely, some organisations told us of young people coming from a family culture that did not value work. Some families were very proactive in seizing opportunities on offer, particularly when they were designed to reach less advantaged groups.

‘My mum is really proud of me. She wants me to get out there and show what Pakistani women are capable of.’ peer researcher, Bristol

‘We do work with some families where no one has had a job, so they don’t support their children in looking for a job’ organisation, Lisburn

However, young people told the inquiry their options were expanded or limited by the wealth, knowledge, skills and connections of their families. Organisations and young people both recognise that those from wealthier backgrounds have greater access to volunteering and work experience opportunities. They also identified how divisions between communities with different ethnic or cultural backgrounds limited who a young person could approach for advice or connections.

‘If you’re from a poorer background you don’t necessarily have the luxury of having spare time to be able to go to groups and extra things’ workshop participant, North Ayrshire

‘I could ask anyone in my community. If I wanted to run a restaurant there would be so many people who would be able to help me. I want to be a lawyer though.’ peer researcher, Bradford

While the importance of familial and social connections in providing emotional support was evident, there was less of a clear role for formal services.

‘Mum, youth club and parents are all emotional support’ workshop participant, Bradford

However, there was recognition that not all young people have trusted sources of emotional support, particularly some young men. Some participants at our workshops described having no one among their friends and family they could lean on. The consequences of wider societal expectations that ‘boys don’t cry’ and that they should ‘man up’ were seen to be particularly damaging, especially to working-class and black, and Asian young men.

The context of poverty and deprivation

‘I took the test and I got into the grammar school, but when we went to buy the uniform I changed my mind. I couldn’t make my parents pay for that’ workshop participant, Lisburn

‘There are entrenched inequalities [for some families] with 2 or 3 generations unemployed’ organisation, Denbighshire

Young people described the impact of poverty and deprivation on their family. They could clearly see how a precarious labour market combined with very low family income made it difficult for their parents to fulfil their role in supporting them into adulthood.

This was not confined to places with higher levels of deprivation. Even in more affluent places, young people from poorer families or neighbourhoods within these areas said this impacted on their family life and their mental health. Some young people described a hesitancy in discussing personal issues with their family, as they didn’t want to add further pressure.

‘I feel like I can’t talk to my mum because she’s working all the time, she’s stressed enough anyway. I don’t wanna add to her stress with my problems’ workshop participant, Bristol

‘My mum is a single mum, two kids, but the financial stress is a lot for her, which means I don’t talk to her about my problems’ workshop participant, Bristol

Across all the places we visited, organisations described parents who were under such pressure that their ability to emotionally support their children was stretched to the limit. The young people talked about needing to support parents in a changing world.

‘Parents aren’t trained to be parents. How do they cope…? Who do they talk to?’ peer researcher, Lisburn

The attitude of statutory services differed across the places visited. Some did not see it as their role to engage extensively with the families of young people, and would accept some families as ‘difficult to engage’. In other areas, the interventions and support offered by organisations and services took a more family-based approach to ensure that the young people were supported. North Ayrshire took a ‘trauma-informed approach’, meaning adverse childhood experiences inform all their interactions with some families.

Changing family shape

The impact of divorce and re-marriage on family life and the transition into adulthood was raised with examples of young people who had felt encouraged to leave the family home, or who felt unwelcome as the family structure changed. For some, this seemed to have accelerated their move to adulthood. We also heard cases of family tension, including step-parents and step-siblings eroding the security the young people felt at home.

At the same time, there were descriptions of parents supporting their children well in very challenging circumstances. Young people were often living at home after they had finished school, either while they worked or went to university. Parents supported with childcare for their grandchildren and some step-parents were also described as positive role models.

The role played by extended families was varied. Some young people lived a long way from other relatives, while some grew up supported by a network of people, with grandparents in the same estate or same road.

‘I like my area because I can play football with my cousin because if you have no friends at least you can call your cousin or brothers’ workshop participant, Bradford

While extended families might not always offer great support — and there were several stories where it was either stifling or intolerant of difference — feedback was generally that they are a strong positive influence.

‘I have great people around which helps me to achieve my dreams’ peer researcher, North Ayrshire

‘I am strongly supported by my friends and family, I don’t know what I’d do without them’ workshop participant, Bristol

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The national picture

The last half-century has seen broad changes to family structures, with many more teenagers growing up in varied household structures, including ones where both parents work. The impact of family life during teenage years is under-researched and there is limited understanding of which factors ensure a good transition to adulthood. However, data shows that young people regularly arguing with parents and not having a family member who they can rely on was associated with lower wellbeing.

Family environment, including economic background, shapes the development of ‘soft’ skills such as confidence and leadership, which are often acquired through participation in extra-curricular activities, such as music or sports lessons. While this is an effective route for some, relying on these services maintains socio-economic inequalities as they are often paid for. 66% of pupils from a high-affluence background take part in extra-curricular activities, compared to 46% from low-affluence.

The role of family support is also changing. The ONS found that young adults (aged 20 to 34) in the UK are more likely to be sharing a home with their parents than any time since the beginning of collecting comparable data. In 2016, there were 618,000 more young adults living with their parents in 2015 than in 1996 — 3.3 million compared with 2.7 million. With age limit restrictions on housing benefit and minimum wage, plus increasing costs of private housing in many parts of the UK, families are increasingly providing this type of financial and practical support. This means relationships have to be renegotiated as the children move into adulthood and can introduce new and different pressures on family life.

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Why this is important to the assets required for a healthy future

A positive family life provides a child with opportunities for a healthy life by creating the early foundations for them to feel loved and valued; build supportive relationships; develop intellectual, social and emotional skills; and develop lifelong healthy habits.

Families support young people in developing the right skills and qualifications, whether through creating aspiration and a sense of possibilities, or in a less formal way as the source of skills, particularly ‘softer’ ones, which are in demand in some workplaces.

In many cases, families continue to be the main source of financial and practical support — not just while children are dependent but also whenthey are young adults, often providing somewhere to live and subsidising of day-to-day expenses.


20 (Forthcoming in 2018) Williams T. What could a public health approach to family justice look like?. Nuffield Family Justice Observation

21 ONS (2014) Measuring National Well-being - Exploring the Well-being of Young People in the UK, 2014 Newport: ONS

22 Cullinane C, Montacute R. Life Lessons: Improving essential life skills for young people. The Sutton Trust; 2017.

23 Office for National Statistics. Why are more young people living with their parents [webpage]. Office for National Statistics; 2016 (https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/families/articles/whyaremoreyoungpeoplelivingwiththeirparents/2016-02-22)

24 Bellis MA, Hughes K, Leckenby N, Perkins C, Lowey H. National household survey of adverse childhood experiences and their relationship with resilience to health-harming behaviors in England. BMC medicine. 2014; 12:72

25 Allen M, Donkin A. The impact of adverse experiences in the home on the health of children and young people, and inequalities in prevalence and effects. UCL Institute of Health Equity; 2015 (http://cdn.basw.co.uk/upload/basw_13257-1.pdf)

26 Dyson A, Hertzman C, Roberts Tunstill J, Vaghri Z. Childhood development, education and health inequalities. Report of task group. Submission to the Marmot Review. 2009 (http://www.instituteofhealth equity.org/resources-reports/early-years-and-education-task-group-report/early-years-and-education-task-group-full-report.pdf)

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